Losing my head

Or the hair on my head. 


People who knew me knows that when it comes to appearance, I am only vain on two things: my shoes and my hair. Most of my income goes to the upkeep of both. So losing my hair adds more stress to already stressful situation I am in. I've started shedding clumps of hair about two months ago but I attributed it to my scalp getting used to regular shampooing again. However, when it started to come off everytime I brush, or even tug at my hair, I started to worry. Dreading alopecia, I consulted with a dermatologist who diagnosed Telogen Effluvium. 


Telogen effluvium is the name for temporary hair loss due to shedding of resting or telogen hair after some shock to the system. From my research, about 85% of our hair follicles have active growing hair or anagen hair, while the rest are resting hair or telogen hair. It's normal to lose about 100 or so hair when we brush, shower or sleep. However, when there is some shock to the system as many as 70% of the anagen hairs can be pushed into the telogen phase and reverses the process. Which means healthy hair will be pushed out by the resting hair. 


The dermatologist told me that since I had a double whammy, a traumatic accident and major surgery, this precipitated the onset of telogen effluvium. This only became noticeable 2-3 months after the shock. What's more stressful is that there's no cure, you just have to wait it out. She said that shedding is a sign that it's already going back to the old phase. 


In the meantime, thanks to Tita Fanny, I'll try to "encourage" my hair to grow back. PLEASE.

Prosthesis 101

Meet my precioussss.... 

Type: Endoskeletal transtibial prosthesis

Specs:
- Acrylic socket with pelite liner (the fat beige part)
- 3 prong titanium socket adapter
- Aluminum and titanium socket adapter pylon ( (the robocop steel part)
- single axis foot with titanium ankle joint (covered by the shoes)

Donning the prosthetic leg:

1. Clean the stump with soap and warm water
2. Pat dry with a towel
3. Apply Contractubex to scar

       - I apply the ointment to prevent keloids and to increase the elasticity of the skin. I used to have an angry red scar on the area with the remaining bone but has since lightened to kikay pink. The stump doesn't hurt anymore and I have already accidentally banged it several time on various furniture when I forget that it was amputated (my subconcious sometimes thinks that I still have my right leg).


4. Put on socks on stump

       - I am still experimenting with different types of socks since prosthetic supplies are not that readily available in the Philippines. I wrap the stump in an ace bandage when I'm in bed to further promote shrinkage and use a shrinker stocking (the kind used by old people with rheumatism) when wearing the prosthetic. I have a problem with this because the stocking is madulas and I have a bit of pistoning when i walk. Not good, since my gait becomes abnormal. I am trying out now a Puma sport sock without a heel and find it more comfortable although it's mainit.

5. Extend knee and slide in stump, with the leg parallel to the ground.
6. Snap on velcro strap around the thigh. Make sure it's snug but not cutting into the skin.
7. Slowly bend knee and make sure the socket is snug under the knee.

    - there's a little bit of allowance between the socket and the end of the stump and the area around my knee is bearing the weight, so there is no trauma to end of the stump. Since this is just my first prosthesis and I'm a bit on the heavy side, using the vacuum type, which is the most stable and better cosmetically, is not yet advisable. The suspension in the strap type is a bit dodgy but with the right fit, I can regain my normal gait. Probably in a few months :-) I have to return the strap to my prosthetist today because it snaps off when I sit down. Sana wag nya sabihin na papayatin ko na lang hita ko :-(


Standing up and sitting down are production numbers since I'm not yet stable. My supposed "good" leg also has a femoral fracture so I need to grab on to something when I stand and when I sit down. I am using a four-legged walker, which is cumbersome. My physical therapist is training me to use crutches so I can be more mobile and we'll slowly advance to two crutches, then one crutch then just a cane. I'm training myself to take longer strides so I gain more ground. Let's just say I will not run win any walkathon anytime soon. Mas mabilis pa ang marriage ni Kim Kardashian kesa sa lakad ko.  


More updates to come pag nakalakawatsa na ko ng malayo-layo

Whole Again

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

~ Lao Tzu

Well, look who's walking now!

    I picked up my prosthesis this morning after 3 and 1/2 months of waiting for the right time. I had little sleep last night because of the anticipation. Although I'm getting comfortable with the wheelchair, I have to move on to my "new normal". We left at 11am and 20 minutes later, I am back on two feet. 

    I saw the prosthesis as soon as we entered the SGG Orthocare office. My first thought was, ang taba naman. Kuya Raffy explained that this is just a preliminary socket as my stump will still change in the next few weeks. All the excess fat and endema will be gone when my calf muscles rebuild. He also placed a foam liner inside for my comfort, as I mentioned that there's a painful pressure area where the bone ends. And because I have fat thighs. His words, not mine. 

I can't explain the feeling as I walk with two feet again. I have gotten used to the hop-hop system I do when using a walker. The first few steps I took, I forgot I already have another leg and dragged my right leg a bit. I still have to hold on the railings because my balance is shot. My left leg is also still unstable because if the IM nail but nevertheless, I know that I will be walking normally soon. 

As soon as we got home, I was greeted by my and my landlady's family. Now on to the next hurdle: the steps. I live on the 3rd floor of the apartment building and I have to be carried in a chair, princess-style, whenever I have to go down. Good thing my physical therapist is there to guide me up the steps. 

Here is basically how I  climbed 2 flights of stairs:

1. Grab the railing with my left hand and position the crutch on the first step with my right hand. 

2. Put left foot up the first step. 

3. Heave the whole 150 pounds (approximately) of me with my two hands and one leg. 

4. Put right foot up the first step. 

5. Wash, rinse and repeat. 

I didn't mention that I have 4 people behind me waiting to catch me in case I fall down. I have to stop in the landing on the second floor to rest and then grunt my way up on the last flight. All worth it, as I have cake and ice cream waiting for me at home :-)

There's still a long road ahead of me. I still feel wobbly when using my new legn and I have to get used to the feeling that my stump is being choked by the socket. I am more comfortable using a four-legged walker, which is cumbersome, instead of crutches as an assistive device. I have to remove my prosthesis after walking for some time as I feel pain in the stump, which is like a thousand electric currents running up and down my leg. Still more challenges to overcome, but I was never the kind of girl who gives up easily. 

   

Warning: This is a morbid post

       Today is my stump's 3rd monthsary. My nephew nicknamed it Cobra, because it looks like a snake ready to strike when I lift it up. I found this picture while browsing through my photo albums. Surprisingly, I have tons of shots of my right leg. I didn't realize that I have a habit of taking photos of my feet whenever I arrive in a new place.  I figured enough time has passed that making fun of what happened to me is no longer disrespectful to those who have suffered the same misfortune

       This was taken in Palawan the summer of '09, also the year I started my 3/3 rule - 3 Philippine provinces and 3 countries visited every year.

        This was my longest vacation (1 week) and also my first time in Boracay. My ex-roommate Buena just resigned from her Malaysian gig and I am on the brink of resigning because of burnout, so we decided to do some island soul-searching. It was adventure-packed and our stay also got extended because all flights were cancelled on the day we were to go home and we can't get a flight until 2 days after. The summer of 2010 also started my love affair with Boracay and I returned thrice in the same year after this trip.

       This was taken during my 1st camping trip, at a ripe old age of 30. I always managed to avoid camping even when I was in elementary because I was deathly afraid of having no clean bathrooms when nature calls. I was just a sabit to a friend's getaway with her high school barkada but I didn't feel out of place as her friends also brought their own sabits. We thought that Anawangin will be deserted because it is Good Friday, but alas, everybody else has the same idea. I can't say that this trip changed my mind about camping but it was sure a lot of fun, clean bathroom or without.

      Sadly, that was the end of my right foot travel series. Sure, I can always take pictures of my left leg but it wasn't as sexy as Cobra's departed half. Here's hoping my prosthetic foot (coming really soon!)  is photogenic.

I may be bent but I'll never be broken

It's ironic now when I read my blog banner.

It was a Fight Club quote. I used to pretend (still do) I am Edward Norton's character, a corporate slave by day but really Tyler Durden in my head. I fulfill this Tyler Durden fantasy when I travel: everything in life gets the volume turned down. All the work stress, the family drama, heart woes, nothing mattered but what I am experiencing and seeing at the moment. The grittier the experience, the better. It makes me feel alive, connected. I wanted to touch everything, eat everything, smell everything. Anything but my real-life sanitized environment where the closest relationship I have is with my keyboard. 

Now it has come true, I will never be perfect and I will never be complete again.. And despite everything that happened, I'm still grateful.

I left Prey Veng, Cambodia on the dawn of July 31st a broken woman.  At approximately 4am, my old life ended with a bang. Literally. When I opened my eyes, I expected to be dead already. The news reports surrounding my accident has already rehashed how I kept my wits and checked myself for injuries, reciting the alphabet in my head and did some complex multiplication to make sure I'm not bleeding from my brains . How I stashed a copy of my passport in my bra in case the police needed to identify my corpse.What people doesn't know is that for the 2 hours that I was stuck in there, I was scared and I wanted my daddy. And I want the crying woman in front of me, who is hugging her dying son and whose other two daughters are bleeding beside me, to stop because it breaks my heart. How I longed for someone to make eye contact with me so I can tell them to please be careful with my mangled body. And that when I was finally loaded into an ambulance and got to see the extent of my injuries, I laughed. I laughed at the absurdity of my situation, laughed at the thought that I will not be an inspirational disabled person, laughed at the thought na masamang damo talaga ko, I'm still alive.

I am now entering my 3rd month without my leg, or an RBKA (Right below knee amputee)  in amputee parlance. And life's both a bitch and a breeze. I live with pain everyday but I have my family's love and support 24/7. I'm officially bionic because of the hardware in my left leg and I am 130 pounds of pure upper body strength. I am shopping for a new leg like I'm shopping for a new car: I think of suspension, how much mileage I can get out of it, what accessories will fit my lifesyle. I have an entourage: an orthopedist, a physical therapist, a prosthetist and my brother as my personal nurse. I never expected it, but a lot of people has come into my life and further enriched it. Strangers, fellow victims, friends I've reconnected with, acquaintances I have long ignored.

I can say I am a changed woman, in more ways than one. But my journey has just begun.
May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. Deliver me from being perfect and complete

This is one of the articles written by an organization sister and journalist, Lhen Paredes.

Having just one leg doesn’t change everything

The amazing optimism of a travel enthusiast who survived a bus crash in Cambodia

By: Arlene Paredes
Philippine Daily Inquirer 1:27 am | Saturday, August 6th, 2011

A short vacation has gone horribly wrong, and now a young woman determined to bounce back from a tragedy needs our help.
On board Kampuchea Angkor Express, a double-decker bus in Cambodia, 30-year-old Nina Kristine Abad was asleep. It was a Monday, about 4 o’clock in the morning, and her bus was in Peam Ro District, Prey Veng, en route to Vietnam. She was seated on the right side, second row at the top deck.
Nina’s peaceful slumber was interrupted by a massive impact from outside the right side of the bus. Jolted to wakefulness, she knew right away the bus was in an accident, and it was not a minor one.
Over the phone, Nina calmly recounted how she went through the ordeal. She said, “The first thing I did, I checked my teeth, my collarbone, and my eyes.” She felt lucky that her head was resting on a pillow by the window, which cushioned the impact somehow.
Lucid
It quickly occurred to her to check how lucid she was, so Nina did a few multiplications and even recited the alphabet in her head. She felt sure she would come out of the accident alive—except she could not move from her seat, as her legs were pinned down by a steel part of the bus.
An Indonesian guy in the first row was not as lucky. His side heavily absorbed the collision, causing him to suffer head injuries.
Not losing clarity and courage, Nina took comfort in knowing that she could think straight and she was “okay” from head to waist. She then pulled out her cell phone from her sling bag and texted her father and brother. “I told them I was in a crash, and they should let the embassy know.”
It would later be reported that the bus had careened to the right and hit a huge truck filled with corn. It took over an hour before the passengers were removed from the wreckage, with about seven of them suffering major injuries, two of whom did not survive.
The first hospital Nina was brought to was only about 20 minutes away, but did not have the facilities to completely attend to her injuries. She was then rushed to Calmette Hospital in Phnom Penh, where she is now confined.
“I am receiving the best medical attention,” Nina said, noting that a doctor once politely asked if she had any idea how she’d pay for all the expenses. She told him with a smile, “I’ll worry about it later.” She was sure she will get all the help she would need.
Nina is the only girl and the eldest among four siblings. She lives in Quezon City with a 16-year-old brother whom she is supporting through college, while her only surviving parent, her father, is based in Laguna, where he works as  a quality manager.
Asked if she had travel insurance, Nina said that is one of the things she would like to tell other travelers—get insurance before traveling. “I always thought that if the plane crashed, I’d die, anyway,” Nina mused, chuckling, realizing that she did not consider road accidents. It was Nina’s first solo trip.
Driver at large
There were 34 passengers on the bus. Other foreign tourists came from South Korea, Spain, and Ireland. The accident is still under investigation, while the driver, who reportedly fled the scene, is still at large as of press time. An online news article quoted Peam Ro District Police Chief Seng Ponlok as saying, “We think that it was caused by the driver being sleepy.”
Asked if she has some advice to give to travel enthusiasts like her, Nina said, “Don’t ride the night bus.”  Nina realized that the night driver could have also driven during the day and was probably tired.
Bubbly and buoyant despite the tragedy, Nina has been an inspiration to the Filipinos who have been visiting her since Day 1.  “I’m in high spirits” was the first thing she said to this writer when asked how she is doing.
The Philippine Consulate in Cambodia was quick to offer assistance to Nina. They transferred her to a more convenient room and hired a Cambodian to look after her.
The day after the accident, the condition of her legs were explained to her. Bones in her right leg had been badly crushed. “I already had a feeling since the accident that I may have to lose a leg,” Nina said, turning serious for a second without a hint of remorse or regret in her voice. When she was pulled from the wreckage, Nina saw that her left leg looked broken, but her right leg had it worse.
Lawyer Norman Corneros, the Philippine Embassy’s representative, explained to Nina, with the assistance of a Cambodian interpreter, the content of the consent form that she was asked to sign prior to the amputation.
A true optimist, Nina said, “They cut below the knee, and I know there are prosthetics available so I know I’ll be all right.” Her doctor said she could be ready for a skin grafting in 10 days, after which her wound will be closed up and she could be ready to travel via an air ambulance. Nina needs help in making arrangements for that, and she needs good orthopedics for her rehabilitation and further medical procedures.
Never alone
Filipinos living in Cambodia who read about the accident on The Cambodian Daily have flocked to visit Nina and cheer her up.   “I was never alone. I love the people here. I love Cambodia. I’m not traumatized or anything, I’ll definitely come back to Cambodia.”
Support quickly poured from friends and loved ones. Friends from UPLB Development Communicators’ Society (DevComSoc) rallied online after having learned of her situation. Using social networks Facebook and Twitter, Benjamin Delos Santos sought help from friends to call on the media and reach out to friends and connections in Cambodia to report on Nina’s condition and visit her at the hospital.
Mylene Malabanan, a Filipina based in Cambodia, says in her email, “Ang tapang nya!”
Short overseas trips usually mean relaxing pleasures. After a break, things generally go “back to normal” upon landing home. How will it be for Nina?
“I don’t see any change happening other than I may have to use prosthetics to walk again,” Nina said decisively, with her hopes set on seeing her friends and family again. “Gala ka kasi ng gala,” a friend joked, to which she replied, “Hindi ako titigil, no? If I could walk again, the next destination is The Great Wall of China.”
Even after the tragedy, things will go back to normal for Nina, who has the tenacity of a true fighter and a beyond-normal zest for life. But financially, she needs as much help as she can get.
As Nina has her ATM in Cambodia, she has requested her trusted friend Sheena Padilla to take care of all the help she can get.

E-mail the author at lhenparedes@gmail.com.

Let's start with a Plath quote

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am, I am, I am"

I'm writing this because today, I gave up. I suffered 5 minutes of pure, unadulterated pain under the hands of a callous nurse when changing my dressing. The pain in the stump subsided right after he left but it crept through my heart. For about half an hour, I wept. I grieved the loss of my independence, wept for the pain that is coming in the next few days, weeks, months, shamed of the brave front I have been wearing, I just want it all to stop. I want to hit pause, rewind and get back to the last day of my old life. But it doesn't work that way, thus the quote.

Now, I just want to write about the things I look forward to when this is all over. Instead if hitting rewind, let's fast-forward, shall we?

1. I miss the love-love kisses from my nephew when I come home at 12 midnight. Like her tita, my nephew, who calls me Ate, is a raging insomniac. The love-love sessions usually occur after I hand over my daily pasalubong, him giving me a bear hug and a thousand kisses, me pretending to be absolutely disgusted . I miss dancing along with him to Glee songs (we love Valerie) and singing along to metal (Korn and Nine Inch Nails preferably). I vow to bring Oreos and Yakult everyday and resist the temptation to make him cry because he looks so freaken' adorable when he does.

2. I miss street food - kwek-kwek, banana-q, fishballs/squidballs/chickenballs sa fire station, barbeque sa kanto ng zoble, inihaw na hotdog na iba ang lasa kesa prito sa bahay. Fine, titirahin ko na din ang isaw, balut at betamax. I wanna go back to Elbi and eat Pappu's siomai, orlian sa grove, proven malapit sa whitehouse, fried siomai sa sEx, Mernel's cake, Bugong sa Vega.

3. I miss my legs. Not just the amputated one, but the pre-tabatsoy legs. My mom used to hoard Avon lotions to undo my tween bakokang days. Growing up with three brothers and dozens of male cousins, I had my collection of scrapes and scars and my mother's biggest fear is that I grow up with ugly legs. Yep, my momma didn't aspire that I grow up pretty or smart or talented, just that I grow up with amazing legs. Sorry Ma, after the physical therapy and all that, mag-lolotion ako araw-araw.

   

4. I miss artsy-fartsy nights -- red horse Saguijo nights with George, Cubao X with Alejandro and Kuch, bottles of wine with Brandy and Monet at The Collective. I have yet to dine at Van Gogh is Bipolar and experience an earth jam at Ayuyang. I will hold movie marathons at my house based on directors and film genre and compare people's reviews before and after they were drunk.  I draw the line at slam poetry nights, though.

5. Speaking of movies, I will watch more 3D movies with Bebe, alhtough it gives me one hell of a headache. Can somebody tell me which is better - putting your eyeglasses under or over the 3D glasses?

6. I miss MEMA lunch (dinner?) dates with Madamme and Paige and the daily piece of heaven that is Ricelab's lemon square. Also, the daily tsismis-fests with Jake, Esgee, Arls and Mich at the pantry when I'm having my first coffee at lunchtime. I now lift the boycott  for the food provider at the Ops pantry after the catering brouhaha, because I heard they have great viands sometimes.

7. I miss cooking pasta at 2am, when the hunger pangs strike and the ulam in the fridge just won't suffice. I learned how to cook during the godforsaken early hours of dawn. I still follow Jillian's menudo recipe to the letter and use adobo mix instead of the real vinegar/soy sauce deal, but what the heck. I didn't say I learned how to cook WELL.

8. I will shop for more shoes. Nothing beats the rush of buying something pretty and is there a more beautiful thing that a new pair of shoes? I'll probably buy flats for the rest of my life, but hey, I already had my day of rocking slamming stilletoes.

9. I will climb the Great Wall of China, dammit. I have purchased several tickets to Beijing on numerous occasions, only to have the trip cancelled for whatever reason. I will learn how to use chopsticks (my new year's resolution for the last seven years). I'm salivating at the thought of the noodles and duck and dimsum  waiting for me in China.

10. We will have more family trips - to Boracay on Devin's next brithday, picnics at the Lamesa Dam, Enchanted Kingdom on Christmas, the Aguilar-Abad family outing in Laiya, hitting the buffets with my brothers, the promised Disneyland trip with Bebe  - probably next year na lang Beb :-(

11. Lastly, I will walk the aisle on Kit's wedding. Payat na ko by that time. And hold my first niece in my arms when she arrives in November.

There, I'm over it. I will probably give up again tomorrow so I might have another list. Or I can file a restraining order against the nurse. If only I can remember how he looks like. Shoot, they all look the same.

The last day of my Old Life

 
It started out beautifully. I woke up at 7am, had a leisurely breakfast of (our favorite) stir-fried noodles with heavenly Cambodian coffee with a Pinay traveller, whom I met on my way to Siem Reap. She is on her way to Bangkok, which leaves me, for the first time. alone in my 5-day "solo" trip. I made plans with the hotel tuktuk driver, Vey, to take me back to the Angkor complex at 8:00am, with a rented bicycle in tow.

I don't remember feeling so calm in my entire life, the crisp wind on my face, both my feet up in the tuktuk, the promise of a whole day revisiting my favorite temples at my own pace left me feeling giddy. Ah, La Vie Boheme. My demanding yet so alluring mistress.

Vey dropped me off near the complex (cheater) so I can pedal my way to the Wat proper. I stopped for pictures, waved to foreigners and locals alike. When I arrived at Angkor Wat, I deposited my bike with Vey and braced myself for my first step towards my beloved Angkor.

I am not a spiritual person, still am not, but there's something about temples that moves me to tears. I decided to connect with the Wat not just emotionally but physically. I'm barefootin' my way today.

I picked up my trusted Havs and shoved it in my bag and took my first step on the bridge that spans the moat. I didn't care about the stares from some tourists. I'm not the one wearing a long-sleeved shirt over a Tshirt and a stupid hat. Or kitten heels for that matter.

It took me an hour and a half inside the Angkor Wat. The top part was closed since it was a Buddhist holiday, so less tourists today, yay! I tried to sit down and read a book or write somehting, until I realized my stupidity. Why bother, when you have the most beautiful thing around you. I had no concept of time, of space, of social conventions. I didn't care if people saw me cry  nor did I care if they thought I was a lunatic everytime I touched the walls and sighed. I didn't take pictures either. Again,why bother? No camera or words are up to task.

Next stop, Angkor Thom to see my beloved elephants. Vey dropped me off at the entrance (majestic) so I can pedal my way inside. It was too late to ride an elephant as they already made their way up to the hill. To my surprise and utter delight, I caught glimpse of a couple of  late-riser pachyderms on their way to the entrance. Kandarapa ako sa pagbaba to get a clear shot. I was in heaven. Elephants charging their way towards me, in their full glory, no ugly tourists on board. I admired their grace, their majesty, their utter indifference to those who are disgusted by their bulk or smell. Until I felt a hand grab me out of the way. A couple of Cambodian policemen looked at me sternly, mad that they have to rescue a stupid girl from being trampled to death by elephants (how will they file the paperwork). I smiled guilelessly and pretended to be an airhead idiot (it totally pays!)

Next stop, Bayon, with the numerous faces of Buddha. Lord, ang dame. I lost count when a cute-ish Amboy asked if I want my picture taken, probably noticing my one-armed shots. I obliged, then felt the crushing disappointment when people fail to guess that I don't want my distended stomach in my shots. Cute ka pa naman, nagtiwala ako dahil may SLR ka. He asked why I'm barefoot, I replied I don't need shoes. He just said "cool" then walked away. Cool mo mukha mo :-)

All kinds of things went through my mind as I explored Bayon - kailangan masama ko si Bebe dito, I wonder if they allow overnight camping here, if I got lost here, will people think my bones are part of the display, if the Decepticons came back to destroy this place, I'm gonna go postal on their junk ass. But as I've said in a previous status, there are things so majestic, so overwhelming that it only demands utter silence. You just have to take it in, with an open heart, and just be thankful you are there, alive, to see it.

A lot more things happened for the rest of the day. I found the stall of the Cambodian girl I met on the bus in the old market and got schooled on real silk vs polyester blend. She got mad at the wackjobs who ripped me off by selling me polyester blends, I said it's okay, my friends won't know the difference too. I bought a few scarves and contemplated buying a painting of the Angkor Wat until I saw all the stalls in the market selling the exact same painting.

Another highlight, I tired to walk my way back from Pub street as the map looks pretty simple. Just my luck, as I was about to turn on my last street, it poured hard. My handy-dandy HC red umbrella crumpled after a few minutes. I decided to wait inside a mobile shop for a few minutes but since the rain shows no signs of stopping, I thought screw it. I secured my phone and my camera (may they rest in peace) inside a plastic bag, and walked in the rain. It felt good, a fitting counterpoint to a perfect day. I had an "aw" moment when I reached the guesthouse and found out that my tuktuk driver,Vey, tried to look for me in the Pub street vicinity when it started to rain.

While waiting for my pickup for the night bus (cue music of doom), I had the privilege of having dinner with a new arrival, Wesley from New Yahk. He is a veteran of the banana pancake trail but was retracing his steps as an adult and a student chef. He talked to me about going to market in Pnom Penh for a cooking class and finding himself the only white boy in the whole market, people sizing him up if he has a camera crew in hand or he is just what he actually is, a lunatic with balls. He said he was deeply enraged why, when he is in the greatest city in the world, with the highest per capita income, and they have the worst food in the world. I shared my sentiment that the poorest places has the best food because they have no choice. They have to extract flavors from the meager resources they have. Nagbo-Bourdain Bourdainan lang. We shared my last stick of smokes and bade each other happy travels.

Well, it must have been love but Wesley doesn't believe in facebook. We'll always have Siem Reap, char.

To those who may ask, I didn't feel any foreboding before I left. I just felt peace, joy and was incredibly grateful that I experienced everything I set out to do that day. And no, I didn't have any regrets either. As my new motto, life is short, eat pork. And chocolates, and amok, and chicharon bulaklak and broccoli and yes, even a fried tarantula, if that's what floats your boat.